“Cheer up. Your (loved one who died) wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
It’s true, I can’t think of a single instance my loved one wished sadness onto me, but there are times where faking happiness is more painful and damaging than actually experiencing grief. When you love deeply, you grieve deeply, and when you try to hide these feelings, they tend to come out in other ways that may be very unhealthy or destructive. In our culture we tend to push away our pain instead of processing our emotions and learning to sit within our uncomfortability. I understand that emotions can be scary, but don’t push your griever away even further by diminishing theirs. I promise you that they already feel alone and isolated.
Grievers need to be sad in order to come out on the other side. Actually, we all should practice fully feeling our emotions, processing them, and learning how they affect our bodies. Don’t make your griever teach you how to grieve or how to support them. They don’t have the energy right now.